Counting Down the Days...

Obviously I'm counting down the days until this pregnancy ends which also happens to be the same day I get to meet this other munchkin. Not so obvious, I just realized that I have 98 days left to spend with my first born. Ugh, why does this break my heart?

It really truly makes me sad to think about sharing my time with Avery and this new baby. I know everyone does it and kids all turn out fine after having their role of only child taken away. I just hope she is the type of toddler who doesn't feel hurt or left out by the new addition. That will make it easier on her and of course me.

To keep myself from being too sad about this I just try to focus on the excitement I know she will have when playing with her new sibling. I'm trying to make sure we squeeze in all kinds of important moments in the time we have left. It wasn't sad for me to "give up" my life of being childless but for some reason it is really hard to give up being a mom to just one kid. Strange eh?

There are so many differences too! I am more apprehensive about the baby than I was with Avery. Once I got over the shock of actually being pregnant (with Avery) despite believing I could never have a baby, I was completely excited. I even showed up at the hospital for my induction without any fear. I don't know what I was thinking then but I sure wish I could think the same way now. Seriously, I showed up for a procedure that went so terribly wrong but I was smiling the whole time (until we prepped for surgery of course). I don't know, maybe it was my horrible birth experience that makes me more fearful of the labor and delivery this time. I just wish I didn't have this giant bump in the way while I spend the last 98 days with little Avery. It sure does inhibit a lot of the fun things we could be doing. I mean, I can hardly get down to give her a bath (here I am crying about that as I type it). Yep, those days are coming to an end.

Hopefully I don't sound crazy and other moms can relate to feeling this sadness over becoming a mom to two. Wait, did I just say it was sad to have a second baby? Now that sounds crazy!

Its official...

I am having a baby..soon. LOL! 

I've been feeling really sick the past week or so- like the flu but not really..just the aches and pains and tiredness. Today we confirmed that Avery has dropped and according to our midwife..her head is "wayyyy down there". There's been a few other pre-pre-labor symptoms too so I'm not able to leave town. Yay..sort of. 

We toured the maternity ward last night so that Stephen would know how to get around. I started getting sweaty palms and almost cried...I guess you could say I started to get scared. 

Anyway, the midwife said I'm doing what I need to be doing to have the baby very soon. 

The Design of Pregnancy

Sorry- I have yet another blog about pregnancy :) 

If a person were to really think about all that goes on during the 10 months of pregnancy he or she would realize just how intelligently it was designed.  First of all- its a long time but so much happens. Everyone already realizes how miraculous the process is in that it creates an entire new life. On the other side of that is what the mother goes through. 

Ten months is an extremely long time to be uncomfortable and feel like your body is the subject of a major science experiment. The good thing is- there are so many really annoying uncomfortable/painful things that happen to you that you don't have time to be scared of labor. UNTIL- it gets closer and closer. Personally, I wasn't even thinking about it that much until I realized that the bigger you get and the more uncomfortable you are on a daily basis- the lower your threshold of pain becomes. Stubbing your toe pre-pregnancy was something you just shouted about. Now- at 6.5 months pregnant- it makes you cry because you sit down and say, first I woke up with achey teeth from pregnancy gingivitis, I hardly slept, I pulled my back when I got out of the chair, my stomach feels like it is on fire from heart burn and NOW THIS?!?! Then you cry. HA HA! It sounds funny but its not. So I've heard that because of all the prior discomfort labor is a relief. I'm sure at the end it is but I think the moments it begins happening may be frightening. If I had to give birth during my first 3 months it wouldn't be so bad. My normal pain tolerance would be present and I would be able to move like a normal human. So far at 6.5 months along- I have no doubt that I will cry and be incapable of moving myself around. 

Anyway- the other great thing about the design of labor- is that you are awaiting the arrival of a person you've never met and she is going to be a lot like you or the dad. Either way- it is crazy! I guess focusing on that aspect is all you have left when everything else isn't going your way and you are sitting on the floor crying because you tried to put your socks on and pulled 7 muscles in weird places. Would 911 charge me to call them for a lift off the floor?