Panic!

Yes, I have known for months that my husband would be leaving us soon but so far this week I have felt serious panic. I walk around feeling like I have something very urgent to do..but really it is just the gnawing reminder that we only have 5 more days together. His orders have been all messed up for months too and today didn't make them any better-- his mobilization date was moved UP to the 28th instead of the 29th. You would have thought they said today by the way it impacted me. I know I'm still battling the baby blues but when I heard he would be leaving Sunday instead of Monday I totally lost it.

The plan is for him to come home for Christmas but with the weather and flying I am not confident he will make it. He would have to fly in to Kansas City or Omaha and then we'd have to pick him up-- obviously if the weather is even remotely bad I wont be taking the two kids to pick him up. Avery's 2nd birthday is the 22nd of Dec too and he'll miss that. UGH!

I don't know how men do it, but they are so capable of separating from their family and not crying. Why do women have to have that emotional response? And why does it have to be so strong? It would be really nice if I felt sad but could function normally despite that feeling. Maybe in a few months when I get some sleep I wont be so sad and cry so much but for now... I'm going to play the "life isn't fair" card. Life could be worse...he could be going to Afghanistan or somewhere else that he can't visit/we can't visit but still...