Brainless

I know there really is evidence that pregnant women have memory and brain functioning issues, but man, I think it is worse this time than last. During my first pregnancy I could tell you how far along I was right down to the actual week and day. Now, I think I'm somewhere between 15 and 20 weeks?? It is June 5th but I thought last month was June...and keep calling it July. I guess I missed the fireworks already??

While I'm getting dumber, Avery is getting smarter. Thankfully! Someone in this house has to keep their brain. Every day we are amazed at her little tiny voice and all that she says with it. When she hears music she sings with it but she replaces the words with "Happy Birthday". I just love it when she does that, it is too funny. She puts strings of words together too! Tonight as the sun was setting she said, "oh no, bright sun" as the sun shined in her eyes. Too cute. Her new thing is to do this really awful dance when she hears a good song too. It is adorable, but I hope she gets better with age. Right now her form looks like she's tapping one foot while flapping her arms around and bouncing her hip all at once. Oh, and she shakes her hair with the beat too! What a geek.

Big Girl Bed

Since we found out we were expecting a baby this fall I have been asking Daddy to convert Avy's crib into a day bed. Well, the silly rails that keep kids in are "unavailable". I called to see if they were on backorder or what, but all I was told was that I could put my name on a list and be notified when they were available for purchase. How annoying!

It has been about six weeks now since that happened. While changing the crib bedding I decided to just put the mattress on the floor and see how that went. Well Avy seemed to love lying down in it and reading with me before bed. She was all tucked in with her light-up turtle but as soon as the light went out...she freaked out. We heard her crying and yelling "night night". I went in and the poor thing was standing in the middle of the room in utter blackness. So Daddy came in and took the front off the crib to turn it into a day bed...without a rail.

We put pillows underneath an started the bedtime process again. She went straight to sleep. I'll add photos soon (we have a horribly annoying camera that takes hours to upload even 10 photos).

First check: Avy was right on the corner of the mattress with her left arm dangling off the crib. I took a picture and pushed her to the middle.

Second check: sleeping soundly in the center.

Third check: around 6am Avy was in the middle of the bedroom floor, face down into the carpet, knees tucked under and her butt in the air.

Fourth check: I heard her reading "Buddha puddha" AKA "Mr. Doodle's Poodle". She was up in her day bed with pillows propped and a pile of books. So I climbed into bed with her to read.

I am sad to learn that the bed only handles 125 pounds. Me and my big pregnant belly just wont fit with 25lb Avy. :( Oh well, it was fun to do it at least once.

Nap time has come and gone and Avy has done nothing but read in her bed. We'll see how night #2 goes in the day bed. I look forward to the first time she gets out of bed and comes into our room to wake us. Awwwwww

Godiva

Godiva should probably start paying me for advertising. I'm going through some crazy pregnancy craving stage where the only thing that sounds good is chocolate..and not just any chocolate. Just the kind that melts in your mouth and is so strong in flavor that you really can't eat more than one at once. I've Tweeted, Facebook status updated (twice), Private Messaged (6 people) and posted about 5 thread posts about Godiva and eating it as dinner.

Why...am I blogging about Godiva? Well, because I have reached that icky part of pregnancy where your hormones go kinda nuts. I feel extremely lonely and isolated. Which lead me to eat chocolate for breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner and bedtime snack for two days in a row. Don't worry, I ate other foods too. I still feel attacked my hormones. I've also been truly isolated because I have been participating in a challenge for one of my writing clients. I set out to produce an insane amount of pieces and this has required writing basically 19 hours out of each day. It ends on Monday night at midnight though... so not too much longer.

My other problem is that I have to keep a food log for my midwife. She's a tough gal. Not the stern, make you fear your life kind of tough. But she definitely tells you that if you want to work with her, you will do what she is recommending. Well, she actually says it more like, if you are like the other women I have worked with and truly want a VBAC, you will do this. Anyway, so eating truffles isn't exactly going along with what she recommends.

So yeah- I'm alone with my blog one last Godiva truffle, depressing pregnancy hormones and very little sleep.

High School Reunion

This is more of a vent than anything...or not a vent but...I just have to say these weird thoughts I have and move on.

First, my 10 year class reunion is scheduled for sometime this summer..July I think. We did not have a 5 year (fine by me) and I think I've maybe run into 1-2 of my former classmates here in Des Moines. Did they talk to me? No, not really. Did they talk to me in school...well yeah...there were only 52 of us...but only during school hours or functions.

I think I was very well DISliked in high school, but I could be wrong. I know I didn't fit in and always felt like people were picking on me or saying rude things. I don't remember all the details as to why, but it may have had something to do with my moving from Oswego, IL to the small town of Corning, IA to start my junior year. Hmm- yeah I dressed kind of funny compared to the farming community. I also may have gone through a lot of rough stuff at home and had a chip on my shoulder... but I don't recall ever being mean to anyone.

Anyway- I think I have more bullet thoughts than fluid so:

• I had more friends in IL than in IA during high school and I think I had 300 or maybe 600 peers in IL..can't recall but I know it was not a small school.
• If I went to the Corning reunion I don't know who I would talk to. I can actually imagine walking in and sitting down...never talking to anyone. Seriously- in a normal setting I think I'd see someone and ask them how they were and they would do the same. I can't think of a single person who would do that if I showed up.
• The discussion of what to do and what to serve at the reunion is on Facebook. Someone mentioned a vegetarian option...and it was met with intolerance...as usual.
• I'm not a vegetarian but I have a hard time eating animal products, especially when I know nothing about the establishment.
• I hate to even make this point but I will... the reunion is held at the Carbon Bar...which is in a small community that used to be a town. If I remember correctly- the post office is no longer open there and it is basically a bunch of houses and a church...oh and the bar.

Okay- I got that off my chest. I wish I had graduated from Oswego so I could go to that reunion. It would be great to see the friends I had there...some of which I still talk to today- UNLIKE the people I went to school with in Corning. Weird, huh?

Now that I have said all this- I'm actually annoyed that someone even bothered to invite me to the reunion. Oh wait...I didn't actually get invited. I was just asked to join the Facebook group. Maybe that is how the world does things now. I don't know, I'm not Miss Etiquette, that is for sure.

Are You In there?

Can you believe it? I'm wishing for morning sickness? Seriously! I am! Why? Well, because I have a silly theory that if this pregnancy is just like the last then I WILL have another girl. I cannot find my early pregnancy journal so I am unsure as to when I first had morning sickness, but I remember it being terrible. It was, of course, only 24 months ago.

I know in the first trimester of the first pregnancy I was pretty nauseated and super sleepy. I'm definitely tired and I had some nausea during the weekend of implantation. I know it was implantation because I had all the other symptoms, plus a fever, chills, aches and vomiting. So yeah...that is how I knew I was pregnant.

I've read that the second pregnancy is more relaxing since the mom already knows how to deal. Well, I'd have to agree with that. I know my mind is not 100% consumed by pregnancy thoughts (yet). I actually am not really sure a baby is in there (well an embryo at this point). I definitely can't button my skinny jeans but other than that- I have a symptomless second pregnancy.

Come on heartburn! I want a girl!

Itty Bitty No More

Avery in March of 2009 and there she is at the end of February 2010.

Man I just had one of the most reflective weekends!!! I know what spurred it and am thankful. More on that later...but right now I have to tell you about our basement.

With spring coming around the corner we decided to sort the basement a bit. I had been throwing maternity, post-pregnancy, "fat" clothes and any infant/baby thing Avery was no longer using, down the stairs into the basement. We decided to put everything into tubs and label them.

Well- the emotional effort that goes into sorting your first child's clothing is intense. We had a bin for neutral/boy clothes and baby girl clothes. Touching Avery's first shirt she wore in the hospital, the beanie they put on her and then the outfit she went home in was so hard. Before doing this I don't think I could have described a single onesie that she used to wear. Holding each one up and folding it, I had all kinds of memories about her wearing this cute one and that cute one. Yeah- seriously- she's old enough that I have MEMORIES about her. I know a memory technically develops moments after the event occurs, but I was naive. With only 14-months of life with Avery (not counting the 42 weeks in the womb) I would never have believed her first days in my arms would seem so long ago. But they do! It was so hard for both Stephen and I to put those itty bitty clothes into a bin and realize how fast the time went. We spent so much time waiting for her next milestone that we missed those tiny baby moments, in a way. Obviously we enjoyed her baby moments but the next time I have a baby I wont be looking ahead so much. I want to spend more time in the moment.

Those of you with little babes...pull out some of those tiny baby clothes and give yourself a reality check. While it is so awesome to anticipate your child's next big thing- once it arrives, then what? The previous moment is gone! I'm pulling back the reigns on time. More photos, more journaling and more focusing on the moment. I don't want to put toddler clothes into a box and feel like I didn't get enough time with my one-year-old.

Has Anyone Heard from Spring?

I know I shouldn't complain about the insane amounts of snow we have received this winter with all that is going on in the world but I'm going to anyway. What else have I got to do while I wait for the bitter winds to die down and the mounds of white to disappear?

It will be two years ago this spring that I refused to move away from Des Moines. My husband was living in IL trekking back here on weekends to see me. In May we bought a house because while I was pregnant I insisted this was the place for us. Well, now I'm wondering what the heck I was thinking!

I really don't want to stay here through another winter. I have absolutely no desire to sit in a house during months of rain, months of spring and very few FULLY sunny days. There are plenty of great things to do here but dragging a toddler in and out of a car through snow, winds and rain just isn't my idea of fun. I don't know how people do it.

Our house is truly suffering from SAD (seasonal affective disorder). We are grumpy, tired, unmotivated and sad. Sad over what? We don't know...the lack of sun? The giant drifts of snow? The lost hours spent shoveling?

Anyway, I'm ready to move. If things fall into place in the future that allow us to move- I wont be putting my foot down to keep us here ever again. While I love the friends I have here, I hardly see them. (Often due to snow). So I'm not sure I see the benefit of living here forever anymore. I'd like to say that as soon as spring gets here I'll feel differently but it is going to take a while to shake the fear of snow I have developed. I can guarantee my husband wont be putting forth any effort to stick around for another Iowa winter. Poor guy...