Itty Bitty No More

Avery in March of 2009 and there she is at the end of February 2010.

Man I just had one of the most reflective weekends!!! I know what spurred it and am thankful. More on that later...but right now I have to tell you about our basement.

With spring coming around the corner we decided to sort the basement a bit. I had been throwing maternity, post-pregnancy, "fat" clothes and any infant/baby thing Avery was no longer using, down the stairs into the basement. We decided to put everything into tubs and label them.

Well- the emotional effort that goes into sorting your first child's clothing is intense. We had a bin for neutral/boy clothes and baby girl clothes. Touching Avery's first shirt she wore in the hospital, the beanie they put on her and then the outfit she went home in was so hard. Before doing this I don't think I could have described a single onesie that she used to wear. Holding each one up and folding it, I had all kinds of memories about her wearing this cute one and that cute one. Yeah- seriously- she's old enough that I have MEMORIES about her. I know a memory technically develops moments after the event occurs, but I was naive. With only 14-months of life with Avery (not counting the 42 weeks in the womb) I would never have believed her first days in my arms would seem so long ago. But they do! It was so hard for both Stephen and I to put those itty bitty clothes into a bin and realize how fast the time went. We spent so much time waiting for her next milestone that we missed those tiny baby moments, in a way. Obviously we enjoyed her baby moments but the next time I have a baby I wont be looking ahead so much. I want to spend more time in the moment.

Those of you with little babes...pull out some of those tiny baby clothes and give yourself a reality check. While it is so awesome to anticipate your child's next big thing- once it arrives, then what? The previous moment is gone! I'm pulling back the reigns on time. More photos, more journaling and more focusing on the moment. I don't want to put toddler clothes into a box and feel like I didn't get enough time with my one-year-old.

Its About Time

I feel so dumb! I know "time flies" and all that but I spent today in a real funk all about time. I swear a bazillion new projects fall into my lap...literally FALL into my lap all at the same time. I've learned to turn a bunch down over time. I'm a lot less busy than I once was but I'm still TOO busy.

Anyway- I thought I found a few things that would really make a difference in my schedule. Things that would allow me to spend more time with my family. Then I realized I would have to leave my daughter with someone other than myself. This could be a caregiver or it could be her dad. Regardless, I was sad. So sad I cried off and on at just the thought of it. Maybe this is normal but it lead to something else that made me more upset. Our wedding anniversary is coming up soon and we have spent more time apart than together.

This is not how I envisioned life as a family. No matter how many hours Avery is unconsolable, leaving her with someone else still seems unbearable. All I really want is to have my family home together for dinner. Even though Stephen is home in the morning until after lunch it isn't the same as coming home from work for dinner. The morning is a busy time with everyone getting ready for the day. It doesn't leave much time for just being together or even going off to play at the park.

I hope this time issue works itself out but for now I'm going to work on holding onto mine!

Time....

During pregnancy I was confused by the whole- 9 months but really it is 40 weeks-which is 10 months thing! That concept is nothing compared to me trying to figure out how old my daughter is. She was born 12/22 so on 6/22 that would be 6 months old. However, if you count the weeks she will be starting her 28th week of life tomorrow. So 28 weeks is 7 months. Ugh...I don't get it!

Today she was acting weird- she would be sitting totally happy with a toy and scream out in pain with tears. Well- Daddy stuck his finger in her mouth late in the day to see if she was teething and there was already a little tooth poking through! Wow! We can't believe it. I can't even imagine what she will look like with a little tooth in her smile. Awww...but she's changing so fast every day.

We are preparing for our first big trip away from home. We will be heading to Little Rock, AR (9 hours) and then to Keota, OK. I will be driving through the night so we don't change Avery's routine. YIKES! I'm normally not too afraid of crime or strangers but with Avery going to Little Rock I'm worried sick! We are staying near the River Market....

At least she got her tooth out of the way for now...