Stating the Obvious

You can really tell how you feel about something/someone/someplace when it is gone...or threatens to leave. Des Moines hasn't treated me super well in the past year or so but preparing to leave still makes me sad. I can't really tell if it is the fear of change or leaving some people behind that makes me so sad. I've moved all my life. Staying in this area for 10 years is an all-time record for me. I think the longest I stayed anywhere prior to this was 2 years. I already lack childhood friends from all those moves and now this. People try to comfort others by saying that true friends will stay friends no matter the distance. Yeah, I can say that in one instance this has been true for me. I just think that all my friends have kids and that makes nurturing friendships very low on the list of things to do every day.

I'm hoping that as our move day gets closer the positive side of moving will overwhelm the negative side. Of course I want to be with my husband--especially for the sake of the girls--but part of me is worried that I'm boarding some ship that is going to set sail and never port for very long again. I felt the same way growing up. As soon as I felt like I had friends and wasn't being picked on for being the new kid anymore--we picked up and moved. I used to cry so hard I made myself sick. Every single time we moved...even if no one liked me yet...I still cried so hard. Ick. Maybe I wouldn't be so freaked out if this move wasn't premised as a temporary thing. Avy is old enough now that she remembers her friends and actually asks to see them. I feel bad that I'm moving her. I know she'll adapt and be fine but I can't help but worry that it will hurt her a bit. I also created a moms group with the intention of letting all of our children grow up together. I love that we have all started out together with our tiny babies as new moms and now we get to watch as one-by-one they go through the same phases (with mine going through it all first as the oldest of the bunch!). That is all something I can't create again no matter where we go. Kind of like wishing you could recreate a first date...you just can't.